Do we really HAVE to share?

In my last post, I had you ask yourself “who are the main characters?” in your life story. These characters play an important role in affecting both what actions and plans you will endeavour, as well as how your story ends. For example, your friends or parents can affect your decision about where or if you will attend post secondary studies. Similarly, having or not having children could affect how wildly you live your life (or not) and what happens to your assets when you die.

This is my super smooth segue into discussing estate planning, something with which I have been particularly involved as of late.

We are always told when we are little that “sharing is caring” and that we are supposed to play nicely, allowing others to use our toys – at least temporarily. But, what if we really don’t want to? What if you are worried about your rough little brother breaking your favourite teddy bear or colouring outside of the lines in your colouring book? Is it okay to share some things and not others? I am going to say yes. It is, after all, YOUR stuff and you are allowed to establish boundaries for it!

So, what, then, about when it comes to planning the distribution of your estate? It is true that you cannot take your assets with you to the grave, but you can choose what you do with them – to an extent. (I am adding this little disclaimer in the case of super complex situations where court orders may be involved, for example.) I have had this conversation a few times recently with clients who felt they needed to justify their beneficiary decisions. The answer, in my opinion, is simple: if you do not trust your spouse or adult children with your money, you do not need to leave it to them. Similarly, if you do not trust them to manage your affairs (while alive or dead), it is not mandatory to bestow the power upon them. Yes, things could get messy if you decide to provide for some relatives and not others, but there are ways around this. Furthermore, you can consider bequeathing your estate to a charity of your choice, if you are in a similar situation to the characters below – or if you simply believe your family will not utilize the resources in an adequate way. In the end, it is your decision and you needn’t worry; instead, make choices that sensible and comfortable for you and trust that those who survive you will understand that you had your reasons.